TABLE OF CONTENTS
A Bird Flew By My Window (this poem was brought to you by Wendy's)
A Botanist's Love Poem
A Crush I Had In High School
A Few Steps
A Neglected Geometry Textbook Speaks
A New Bookshelf
A Plea For Humility
A Poem For Lonely People, Living In The Same City As Me
A Reading Recommendation
A Stupid Dove
A Thursday In April 2017
A White Stone
A Wish Before Going To Sleep
About Divinity
All I Wanted Was A Snack
Almost
Ambition Ambition Ambition
And To Teach Them Their Proper Places, I Put Smiles Upon Their Faces
Animal Videos
Another Monday, Driving To Work
Another Poem About My Health Problems
Approaching Another Birthday
Aspirations
Back When I Was First Learning How to Drive A Truck
Beyond the Jurisdiction Of The HOA
Big O Tires, May 12th, 2018
Blast Off!!! R U a Honey-Cruncher Kid?!
blue out there
Boy Scout Camp, 1993
Bulbasaur, Pokemon # 1
Cavity Protection
Chomp Goosh Ka-pow!
Communists
Confession
Coolidge
Depression
Directions
Don't Fear The Thunder
Eating Bagels and Strawberry-Flavored Cream Cheese
Enter The Musician
Entry From My Writing Journal
Erin,
Expatriation
Faith
Fight And Sprint
Flowers In The Gardens Of The Spirit World
Food For The Soil
For Lonely People Contemplating Suicide
Foreign Things
Fredrick And His Yummy Snacks, Live At The Transient Ballroom, May 17th, 2015
Games On My Phone
Germann
Heatstroke
Hermit
Hey... I Remember Algebra...
Highways! Highways!
Ho Hum, Humdrum, Yum Yum
Homebody
How Many Movie Screens Have We All Made?
How to Make Tuna Salad
I Also Like Clams
I Behold The Grass: The Monologue Of A Liberal Hippie I Saw In The Park
I Like My Front Yard
I Like People A Little Bit Crazy
I Talked With A Star!
I Think It's Really Over This Time
I Think I'll Stick With Christianity
I Walk Around On The Ground.
I Wanna Kill Your Queen
I Wanna Name My Son Falcor
I Wanna Live In One Of Those Age-restricted Housing Places
I Want Money and More Money
I Want to be Alone
I Was The First. Hipster. Ever.
I Wish I Had a Stalker
I'm Like A Professor
"I'm Spiritual, But Not Religious"
In Hell
In Sunday School
In the Eyes Of Your Children
Instructions For Housewives: Plans A, B & C
Ironwood And Ocotillo
It Must Be Love
It's Alright To Be White
Jablork Is The Name Of The Troll
Jerome The Gnome Bludgeons A Pretty Kitty
Joy And Jackrabbit
June
Land-locked
Last Time I Went To Tire Planet
Leaves In General
Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood
Lines On My Very Private Infinite Moroseness Within My Own Introspective Depressing Musings
Location Location Location
Looking at a Crucifix
Lots of Cars
Lugia, Pokemon # 249
Lunch Break, Eating Bread with Butter
Magmar, Pokemon # 126
Monkeys Headed to Mars
Most of Your Midlife
Muddleheadedness
My Brother's a Liar!
My Conversion
My Daughter Said Hi To A Bird Today
My Health Problems
My Name Is Matt
October, Arizona
Octopi
Oh Yeah, I Remember!
On A Cereal Box For Children
On Being Given A New Notebook For My Birthday
On The Modern Literary Elite, Of Which I Am Chief
On The Serving Line
On Viewing "Robots with Tater Tots"
Overheard At Circle K
Paper Plates
Photographs on College Brochures
Poem For Jesse And Miki, On Their Wedding Day
Poem For Veteran's Day
Prickly Pear
Prime-Time TV Programming
Productivity
Propinquity
Psyduck, Pokemon # 054
Quack Quack
Redundancy Is Everywhere
Renewal
Retirement Planning
Rhyming Poem # 5
Right Now
Roadrunner
Ron Paul
Saguaro
Sardines and Sauerkraut
Silly Emotional Teenagers
Sitting on the Bench In My Front Yard
Sleep
Smeks
Snow Falling
Something Anything Nowhere Forever
SOS 501: Introduction To The Study Of Studies
Sprinkle-Rain
Streaming Content
Summer, Desert
Sunglasses
Sweet Potatoes
Tex
Thank You for Purchasing Killz Real Good Ant Eliminator
Thatcher
The Agnostic's Nightmare
The Best Naps
The Boyce Thompson Arboretum Sucks
The Butterfly Fairy Princess
The Dullest Carpet
The Fall of Icky Norf (an extract from the Book of Yath)
The Following Words
The Grand Merzazzabam
The Immensity Of Operations
The Improper Disposal Of Chewed Gum
The Lady On The Bag Of Raisins
The Lonely
The Meadow
The Middle-Aged Woman Writes A Mailing Address
The Movie I Thought Up Last Night
The Rest Of Your Life
The Right Amount Of Pity
The Thing I Like About Poetry Is
Therapy
There Is A Sadness
There Ought To Be Words
Things That Wake Me Up In The Middle Of The Night
Time For A Burrito
To A Six-Armed Hindu Idol, On Display At The Phoenix Art Museum, Sculpted By An Unknown Artist, circa 900 AD
To A Young Protestor
To My Daughter
To My Love, Who Hates Feeding Ducks
To Pearl, From Edgar
To The Person Who Gave Me A Scholarship Nine Years Ago
To Those Who Bury Their Talents
Tonight
Typo
up, up, up, up
U R My Cuddles
Vocalize
Waitress
Walden Pond, Condensed
Walking Through A Desert, Stopping To Admire A Saguaro
Wanna See My Splyzote?
Ways I've Lost Friends
We Go To Our Car
What I Have To Offer You
What's On the Bag
When College Professors Laugh
When I Don't Sleep Well
When I Get Away From The Suburban Street
When The Muse Doth Strike
Where I'm From
Where, When I Languish, Where Can I Run?
Why Should I Care If The Art Class Gets Cut?
Widow
Windshield Wiper Replacement
Yee-haw! It's Rodeo Time!
You Wanna Hear About My Shampoo?
A Bird Flew By My Window (this poem was brought to you by Wendy's)
A Botanist's Love Poem
A Crush I Had In High School
A Few Steps
A Neglected Geometry Textbook Speaks
A New Bookshelf
A Plea For Humility
A Poem For Lonely People, Living In The Same City As Me
A Reading Recommendation
A Stupid Dove
A Thursday In April 2017
A White Stone
A Wish Before Going To Sleep
About Divinity
All I Wanted Was A Snack
Almost
Ambition Ambition Ambition
And To Teach Them Their Proper Places, I Put Smiles Upon Their Faces
Animal Videos
Another Monday, Driving To Work
Another Poem About My Health Problems
Approaching Another Birthday
Aspirations
Back When I Was First Learning How to Drive A Truck
Beyond the Jurisdiction Of The HOA
Big O Tires, May 12th, 2018
Blast Off!!! R U a Honey-Cruncher Kid?!
blue out there
Boy Scout Camp, 1993
Bulbasaur, Pokemon # 1
Cavity Protection
Chomp Goosh Ka-pow!
Communists
Confession
Coolidge
Depression
Directions
Don't Fear The Thunder
Eating Bagels and Strawberry-Flavored Cream Cheese
Enter The Musician
Entry From My Writing Journal
Erin,
Expatriation
Faith
Fight And Sprint
Flowers In The Gardens Of The Spirit World
Food For The Soil
For Lonely People Contemplating Suicide
Foreign Things
Fredrick And His Yummy Snacks, Live At The Transient Ballroom, May 17th, 2015
Games On My Phone
Germann
Heatstroke
Hermit
Hey... I Remember Algebra...
Highways! Highways!
Ho Hum, Humdrum, Yum Yum
Homebody
How Many Movie Screens Have We All Made?
How to Make Tuna Salad
I Also Like Clams
I Behold The Grass: The Monologue Of A Liberal Hippie I Saw In The Park
I Like My Front Yard
I Like People A Little Bit Crazy
I Talked With A Star!
I Think It's Really Over This Time
I Think I'll Stick With Christianity
I Walk Around On The Ground.
I Wanna Kill Your Queen
I Wanna Name My Son Falcor
I Wanna Live In One Of Those Age-restricted Housing Places
I Want Money and More Money
I Want to be Alone
I Was The First. Hipster. Ever.
I Wish I Had a Stalker
I'm Like A Professor
"I'm Spiritual, But Not Religious"
In Hell
In Sunday School
In the Eyes Of Your Children
Instructions For Housewives: Plans A, B & C
Ironwood And Ocotillo
It Must Be Love
It's Alright To Be White
Jablork Is The Name Of The Troll
Jerome The Gnome Bludgeons A Pretty Kitty
Joy And Jackrabbit
June
Land-locked
Last Time I Went To Tire Planet
Leaves In General
Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood
Lines On My Very Private Infinite Moroseness Within My Own Introspective Depressing Musings
Location Location Location
Looking at a Crucifix
Lots of Cars
Lugia, Pokemon # 249
Lunch Break, Eating Bread with Butter
Magmar, Pokemon # 126
Monkeys Headed to Mars
Most of Your Midlife
Muddleheadedness
My Brother's a Liar!
My Conversion
My Daughter Said Hi To A Bird Today
My Health Problems
My Name Is Matt
October, Arizona
Octopi
Oh Yeah, I Remember!
On A Cereal Box For Children
On Being Given A New Notebook For My Birthday
On The Modern Literary Elite, Of Which I Am Chief
On The Serving Line
On Viewing "Robots with Tater Tots"
Overheard At Circle K
Paper Plates
Photographs on College Brochures
Poem For Jesse And Miki, On Their Wedding Day
Poem For Veteran's Day
Prickly Pear
Prime-Time TV Programming
Productivity
Propinquity
Psyduck, Pokemon # 054
Quack Quack
Redundancy Is Everywhere
Renewal
Retirement Planning
Rhyming Poem # 5
Right Now
Roadrunner
Ron Paul
Saguaro
Sardines and Sauerkraut
Silly Emotional Teenagers
Sitting on the Bench In My Front Yard
Sleep
Smeks
Snow Falling
Something Anything Nowhere Forever
SOS 501: Introduction To The Study Of Studies
Sprinkle-Rain
Streaming Content
Summer, Desert
Sunglasses
Sweet Potatoes
Tex
Thank You for Purchasing Killz Real Good Ant Eliminator
Thatcher
The Agnostic's Nightmare
The Best Naps
The Boyce Thompson Arboretum Sucks
The Butterfly Fairy Princess
The Dullest Carpet
The Fall of Icky Norf (an extract from the Book of Yath)
The Following Words
The Grand Merzazzabam
The Immensity Of Operations
The Improper Disposal Of Chewed Gum
The Lady On The Bag Of Raisins
The Lonely
The Meadow
The Middle-Aged Woman Writes A Mailing Address
The Movie I Thought Up Last Night
The Rest Of Your Life
The Right Amount Of Pity
The Thing I Like About Poetry Is
Therapy
There Is A Sadness
There Ought To Be Words
Things That Wake Me Up In The Middle Of The Night
Time For A Burrito
To A Six-Armed Hindu Idol, On Display At The Phoenix Art Museum, Sculpted By An Unknown Artist, circa 900 AD
To A Young Protestor
To My Daughter
To My Love, Who Hates Feeding Ducks
To Pearl, From Edgar
To The Person Who Gave Me A Scholarship Nine Years Ago
To Those Who Bury Their Talents
Tonight
Typo
up, up, up, up
U R My Cuddles
Vocalize
Waitress
Walden Pond, Condensed
Walking Through A Desert, Stopping To Admire A Saguaro
Wanna See My Splyzote?
Ways I've Lost Friends
We Go To Our Car
What I Have To Offer You
What's On the Bag
When College Professors Laugh
When I Don't Sleep Well
When I Get Away From The Suburban Street
When The Muse Doth Strike
Where I'm From
Where, When I Languish, Where Can I Run?
Why Should I Care If The Art Class Gets Cut?
Widow
Windshield Wiper Replacement
Yee-haw! It's Rodeo Time!
You Wanna Hear About My Shampoo?